by Richard Lassiter
I am energy. I am, have always been and will always be.Science tells me that energy can neither be created, nor destroyed – that energy is. Religion tells me I am one with all things. Both are saying the same thing in different words. Yet, I keep searching for refinement, I keep searching for this “I AM.”
I have come into planet earth many times to unfold that beingness. In this lifetime – which is like a blink of an eye in the span of eternity – it is important that I regroup myself and am crystal clear who I am and what I came to do, in order to move on to greater fulfillment.
Living in the present, building on what I learned from the past, I am creating the probabilities of what the future will be based on what I do today. I cannot dwell in the past and the future is not here yet; all I have is the now. It is important that I feel secure and know where I fit in the now, in order to accomplish what I came to do without stress.
The center of my beingness is where everything comes from and goes out. This beingness or “I AM” is an unlimited, force of energy. It is the life, the service or the worth that I am, have always been and will always be throughout eternity. What I do with it – how I direct it – depends on how much I change from having been taught to look outside myself for my answers.
It depends on how clear I am without organization and direction. It depends on how well I understand what giving of myself really means spiritually. It depends on how much I was allowed to “JUST BE” in my first seven years.
How much did I learn to deny myself, and still do it now, during my first seven years,because of the pressure from my parents and my early environment? My parents had the best intentions, but they too, were influenced by concepts and lack of facts of what life is all about.
I was taught that the world outside is more important than I am and I fell into the habit of following an authority figure (teachers, preachers, political leaders, “successful people”) who has all my answers for me. With this authority outside myself, knowing what is best for me, pretty soon my policies of life were buried under someone’s rights and wrongs, good and bad, shoulds and shouldn’ts, greater and lesser that have nothing to do with my core policies and procedures of oneness with all things.
Fear steps when I no longer have the facts of who I really am. I have buried and forgotten my reality and have started to live a lie which is passed on from generation to generation. With my loyalty and free will outside myself, I create situations where I am reacting instead of acting or fighting when there is nothing to fight.
When I don’t know who I really am, what is me and what is not me, I give more importance to my wants than to my needs and forget that when I leave planet earth all I will take with me is me ; the “I AM” or the clear knowledge of who this “I AM” really is.
I will only take with me what I have put together for myself. “I AM” is everything practical, everything usable or workable for myself, not against myself. Fear does not work FOR me, neither do the habits of judging proving, competing, saving, possessing, dividing because of self-denial, expecting or demanding.
When I realize it is harder NOT to be me, then I experience how easy it is to be that “I AM.” As I change, and release the possessiveness of habits that work against me, I start coming back home – to my inner unity and the “I AM” that is the real, genuine me.
With all of my energy in the now, I can look at my past stepping-stones and weaknessesand do something about them. The past is only to learn from and improve. I can live at my potential and be of service to others because I am able to go into a situation with my sensitivity and quickly read what my sensitivity picks up. I can see who I really am, because I am already there.
Staying “there” means practice, practice, practice until my new habit of living my policies and procedures in the now is solidly in my feelings and old patterns are a distant memory.
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