Confession time. This past Sunday, I had some time to myself while Richard took Liam out to the farmer’s market and also while Liam was napping. The energy was DIRECTION this past weekend, and it inspired me to do some planning for my business, where I want to go, what programs I want to offer, and the tasks I will need to do to get there.
Since October last year, I’ve felt like I was in a transition stage in my business, and I was really confused about where to take things. I hired several business mentors to help me get back on track.
Now, nearly a year later, I’ve finally got the vision of the next steps for my business and fulfilling my purpose in the world. I have never had so much crystal clear clarity about my plan than I did on Sunday. (So if you’re in transition right now, be patient, it can take a while to get through it! But it’s worth it!)
I created my plan, and my calendar for the next 12 months. I mapped out all the projects I’ll do, when I’ll do them and what tasks will need to be accomplished to get there. It was incredibly exciting to have the clarity to get it all down on paper! Usually I can plan 3 months out at the most. I felt elated about it!
OK here’s the confession part. I couldn’t get to sleep on Sunday night. I started to feel overwhelmed with all the things I planned out. “That’s a lot to do! How will I do it all? I need people to help me but I don’t know where to find them, and I can’t afford to hire them.” Etc etc etc. At 2am I was up watching TV and eating frozen yogurt to try to relax. After that, I was able to go back to bed and do an angel meditation that relaxed me and I slept soundly the rest of the night. But I’m one of those people that NEEDS sleep. For me, 8 hours is good and 9 hours is better.
So after only 5 hours of sleep, I was feeling pretty cranky the next morning, and still stressed out about all the things I had to accomplish.
OK, stop right here. How did I go from feeling elated, excited, clear and enthusiastic about an incredible 12 months to come, to stressed, tired and cranky?
The answer is: Fear of Success.
In the fantastic book, “The Big Leap,” author Gay Hendricks calls it the Upper Limit Problem. As soon as you have an experience that could move you beyond your current circumstances to more success, you will start to self-sabotage. It doesn’t matter if that success is health, financial, relationship, happiness, etc. If you are subconsciously afraid of that success, you will manifest some negative experience or self-sabotaging behavior to slow you right back down again. It could be a car accident, an argument with your spouse, an unexpected bill, feeling depressed, etc etc. We all have our own unique version of the upper limit problem.
In my case, I started to feel overwhelmed and stressed about my full calendar, thus sabotaging the very success I’d created with my business plan!
And to top it all off, my son was very clingy to me that morning when I dropped him off and cried when I left, which he doesn’t usually do. It made me start questioning, “Why am I even doing this business? I just want to be a stay at home Mom.”
All of those feelings and limiting thoughts going through my mind were just symptoms of fear of success. It is a part of me that wants things to stay safe, comfortable and familiar. My new business plan involves a lot of projects that are new and will cause me to stretch out of my comfort zone. And when you stretch and grow, you will meet the fears and blocks that have kept you stuck. They will pop up to the surface.
So what can you do in these kind of situations? Here’s some tips for you:
1. Acknowledge the fear for what it really is. Forgive that part of yourself and thank it for wanting you to be safe. Tell yourself, “No matter what, everything will be all right.”
2. Tune back in to the positive feelings of the success. Anytime you feel scared or blocked, bring those feelings back in to your body and soul.
3. Spiritually cleanse, and ask your angels for a keyword that will help you stay positive.
4. Ask your angels, or meditate on a new action you would like to take to replace the self-sabotage.
5. Visualize your goals coming in to fruition, and bring in to your body and soul the FEELINGS you will have when that goal is reached.
6. Ask your angels to keep you feeling positive.
We will ALL hit upon these upper limits sometimes. Instead of dreading that, celebrate it! You are being presented with a new area for spiritual growth so that you can continue to expand as a soul and have a richer more rewarding life.
Please post in the comments below what you learned from this. How have you been sabotaging yourself and what is your solution?
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